THE RECTOR'S REFLECTIONS, May 2007

"Who do we need to become?"

During my senior year in college, St. John's Roman Catholic Seminary, Boston , MA., my advisor/confessor, Fr. Mark Noonan, asked to me to his room for a conversation one evening. Mark and I had gotten very close. He was a great priest, a brilliant professor of philosophy (my college major), and a friend. He had defended me before the faculty when I became an activist leader on campus. Mind you, this was 1968 – 1970. I was by his side when he got into trouble and was asked to leave his weekend parish because of his radical preaching. It was also my field work parish. (Mark's “radical” preaching was encouraging people to close bibles and missals and discover Christ in their lives for themselves!) He also knew me better than I knew myself as I was to find out.

We sat down over coffee and Mark got right to the point. He asked me, “Who do you want to become? I'm not asking ‘what' you want to become because you think you already know that. You think you want to become a priest. But who is it that Richard Murphy wants to become?” I was caught up short. I thought I knew the answer. I simply said, “A faithful Christian who wants to become a priest”.

Mark persisted in repeating the question. I became more and more silent realizing that he wanted me to go to a deep place in my heart and soul, a place I hadn't gone, to discover just who I was and where I was headed. But, as I said, Mark knew me better than I knew myself. He ended the conversation by saying, “I want you to spend time thinking about the question.”

Discovering a New Path

Weeks later I graduated and went home for the summer. But before long I began thinking about my future as a Roman Catholic seminarian and future priest. That was my fifth summer of working in an inner city parish in my hometown of New Haven , CT. Gradually I began to realize that I had to make a decision to leave the seminary. I was discovering a new path. I was gaining new insights into “who I wanted to become”. By September it was pretty clear what I needed to do. I had sought out advice and counsel from trusted priests and friends. I had spent a lot of time in prayer. I returned to Boston and by October was out of seminary and out of Church. That decision and process turned out to be more risky, life changing and challenging than one could then realize. That is for a future story.

This all took place in 1970. In 1984 I returned to St. John's to get a copy of my transcripts as part of the process of applying to the General Theological Seminary in New York City . I had planned that day to just go to the registrars office, get my copies, and leave. I went into a building in which I hadn't been in over 14 years. I hadn't even been near the campus in all that time. I had been received into the Episcopal Church in 1979 and felt a call to the ordained ministry in 1982.

I walked down the corridor to the registrar's office and (coincidence?) along comes Mark. We hadn't seen each other since I had graduated. When I told him that I was getting my transcripts in order to apply to General Seminary his eyes lit up and a broad smile came across his face. He said, “Get your transcripts. I'll wait. Then you, me and the dean are going to have lunch together in the refectory.” The dean was a classmate, Bill Fay, by now Monsignor Bill Fay.

We went to the refectory (talk about déjà vu all over again! The chicken hadn't changed in over 14 years!) Bill and Mark peppered me with questions about my reception into the Episcopal Church, talked about life in the seminary and catch up stuff. Then Mark looked me in the eyes and said, “Dick, I am so glad that you have made the choice you have. You should have done that years ago. You are in the right place and the right church and you need to be a priest in the Episcopal Church. You are called to be a priest. As a matter of fact, there is a bit of envy in me.” Bill could only concur by saying, “I am so happy for you”.

It was clear that day that the conversation which had started in 1970 had come to fruition in 1984 and Mark knew it and I could tell by the look in his eyes.

I tell this story because I recall it now, 37 years later, as St. Bede's enters into its feasibility study and, hopefully, fundraising for a new church.

St. Bede's, you and me, are at a point where we must ask ourselves, “Who do we want to become?” I think we have been wrestling with that question at least since, and probably sometime before I came among you as your priest 10 years ago. It was a big question on the minds of search committee and vestry.

To Build a Beacon

I strongly feel that we need to become and build a lasting building that is a beacon for us, Santa Fe , the Diocese of the Rio Grande , the Episcopal Church, and most importantly for those who follow after us.

I will add to the question by asking, “Who do we need to become?” We have outgrown our present space, developed a relationship with HaMakom that is growing, our doors are open and welcoming to more and more new people. Our building, your building, is showing its wear and tear to the point that spending money for expanding and upgrading would prove just as costly as a new building.

Carol and I pledge $3000 annually in our annual stewardship campaign. This is a sacrifice for us. We do it with joy and thanksgiving for all that St. Bede's means to us. We have now pledged $5000 over two years to the capital campaign. This will also be a sacrifice for us. But we believe in what St. Bede's needs to become and who it needs to become.

There is great enthusiasm amongst the vast majority of our congregation for the idea of a new church. There is great enthusiasm for a new church and growing partnership with HaMakom. In two meetings of our St. Bede's congregation in 2005/6, the stewardship luncheon, October 2005 and later the annual meeting in January 2006, over 90% of those in attendance called for the building of new church.

Every Dollar Important and Sacrificial

This energy has to be matched in dollars and cents, your dollars and cents. There are those in our parish who can well exceed the giving of that which Carol and I have pledged as well as those who can't. Every dollar is important. Every dollar pledged should be sacrificial and should be an answer to the question, “ Who do you want to become.”

We are at a crossroads today in deciding the future of our church. Our building isn't going to get better over the next few years. We wouldn't allow our homes to get run down. Our church, your church, has become run down. Thanks be to God the Spirit of St. Bede's has not and never will, I am convinced, become run down. What do you want for the future of your church? What do you want for the future of the Spirit of St. Bede's.

You deserve the best. Those who come after you deserve the best. You are a gifted, blessed, loving, caring community of faithful followers of Jesus Christ. And Jesus deserves the best house we can build for him. We need to build him a proper home that reflects our faith and commitment to his Good News and our Baptismal Covenant.

My prayer for you is that you all feel the challenge and call for a new church, a new moment in our common life, a new future in our common life.

Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference.

(Robert Frost) 

Peace
Fr. Richard

[Back to Top]

© 2007 St. Bede’s Episcopal Church, Santa Fe, New Mexico